Saturday 27 August 2011

Vajazzles Down Under

We're in Sydney and the news is that The Only Way Is Essex has hit Australian TV - surely a natural home for TOWIE. We're returning to the Uk this week to discover the Essex world turned upside down.

Amy Childs is on Celebrity Big Brother and has quit TOWIE and Mark and Lauren have split five months after getting engaged. There's also a rumour Mark might also be quitting TOWIE to, erm, crack Hollywood.

And no doubt Joey Essex will soon be leaving to crack the Consservative Cabinet and Nanny pat is Cameron's new riot tsar offering tough love and sausage plaits... Get me a drink in Sugar Hut, quick.

Tuesday 9 August 2011

Down by the Jetty

Never mind South Pacific, what about Southend? We're currently touring in the Solomon Islands and it's not all beautiful blue lagoons.

After three days of rain and wind we were sitting having a Solbrew at PT 109 bar/restaurant in Gizo (named after J F Kennedy's patrol boat in WW2). The waters were grey and choppy and we were surrounded by ramshackle warehouses and jetties. In fact it might have been Southend, Canvey Island or Leigh-on-Sea.

Dr Feelgood would surely have been at home in the South Pacific, where giant clams replace the cockles of Leigh. And now we've had the Feelgood film, why not a musical entitled Southend Specific, telling how an American nurse falls for an Essex R&B singer?

Eight bars on the pianer!